Can You Just Imagine That?

I’ve been thinking over the last week ” I REALLY need to blog again! It’s been SOOOOOOO long!!” and then I looked when I logged in and really, it’s only been 2 weeks.  That is a long time, but it seriously felt like YEARS!  It’s been an action-packed 14 days!  Birthdays, bad weather, broken teeth (not mine, hubby’s), dr’s visits, diet changes (I FINALLY went completely gluten-free, even of cross-contamination, and I feel great!), heated arguments, counseling sessions…….  SERIOUSLY action-packed.

exhausted woman

Part of the reason it’s felt like it’s lasted so long is because, of the last 14 days, I’ve bled 11 of them.  Yup.  You read that correctly.  Bled.  11 DAYS.  (That may be more than some of you want to know, but TOUGH!)  I’ve gotten to know how my body works pretty well.  I’ve got an app that helps track everything for me, but I’ve gotten so in tune that I can just about narrow it down to a couple hour window of when my period is going to start.  And then I bleed for 3 days and it’s on to waiting for ovulation.  Well, little did I know that not starting when I’d expected to was merely the beginning of the abnormalities for this cycle.

First couple days it was just real light.  Then the third was, let’s say, medium.  I remember thinking “Huh.  This is an easy one.  Lucky me.”  And it kinda stopped for a couple of days…  And then, it was full force.  **Information to follow is not for the queasy**  For 2 days, I passed clumps that were kind of scary.  After already experiencing a miscarriage, my first thought was “here we go again.”  I called my OB’s office and they said that it sounded like an early miscarriage and that I needed to take a home pregnancy test and come in for blood work.

negative test

You’d think I’d get used to the stark-white window glaring back at me.  Not so much.  Not matter how many times I look at that little window, all I see is Mother Nature flipping me the bird.  Just once, I wanna be able to flip it back at her!  My OB’s office called the next day to see how I was doing and when I told them that I’d failed the test again but was still bleeding, they said that I needed to come in for an ultrasound and to see the Dr.  So, I prepared my heart the best I could and went in.

Let me just say – I always HATE going to the OB’s office.  All these oh-so-cute pregnant women around with that glow reminding me that I’m so very NOT pregnant.  Ugh.  But this time, I got the immense pleasure of witnessing this woman in the waiting room – who I was about 1.5 seconds away from putting in her place when they called my name – that was sitting next to her doting husband and rolling her eyes while he talked about little things.  After checking his phone, he told her that he needed to go on a work trip at a certain time, but that they should plan a ‘new family’ vacation/celebration around it.  She then proceeded to tell him how inconSINderate he was to even THINK about going because it was going to force her to go back to work sooner than she wanted to and what a HUGE favor she was doing by carrying his child and how miserable she was.  And then, she went on to tell him that he needed to go get her some wet paper towels so that she could clean her hands before she ate her snack, “but don’t touch any part of the part I will touch because I made you cut all those onions and I do NOT want that smell on my hands,.”  **hair flip**  Honestly 1.5 seconds away from putting Bitchy Barbie in her place when they called my name.  My best friend and I joked in text message that she would have been REALLY sorry to miss it because the woman probably would have gotten REALLY ghetto and I would have had to politely make her look stupid!.

This could just as easily read "Infertile Post"!

This could just as easily read “Infertile Post”!

ANYWAY!  An early miscarriage couldn’t be confirmed, but she said my ultrasound looked GREAT.  With the exception of some leftover blood, my lining was the thinnest they’d seen it and I have a follicle developing in my left ovary.  I asked if there was a test they could do to find out if my body will even ACCEPT a pregnancy and she said that there is a clotting disorder that they can test for.  It’s normally something they do after a woman has 2-3 miscarriages – but due to my age, family history, a previous miscarriage, four failed medicated cycles & treatments and the fact that we’d been trying for 28 months, she could go ahead and order it.  According to her, it’s a very hefty amount of blood and there is QUITE the price tag on it, so she suggested getting the codes from the lab to check with insurance and make sure it would be covered.  She wasn’t kidding!!!  Over $3,200 before insurance!  I called my insurance company and thankfully it’s covered – well, most of it.

Speaking of insurance companies…  Can I just say I am NOT happy with mine right now?  In researching my new policy, I have learned some discouraging, unfair and downright DISGUSTING facts!!!  In exploring the “benefits” I found that they will cover contraceptive supplies and service, voluntary sterilization, elective surgical, non-surgical or drug induced pregnancy termination, health services and associated expenses for elective abortion and fetal reduction surgery.  But for infertility,  NOT A DANG PENNY!!!  Family destroying, covered.  Family building, not so much.  I understand that Lowe’s thinks that they are saving money by doing this, but in the long run, it’s costing them MORE.  According to an article on resolve.org “recent studies indicate that including comprehensive infertility coverage may actually reduce costs and improve outcomes.”  It makes so much sense!!

In reviewing all of this, I decided that I’m not going to be silent about this.  I did something I HATE and posted a fairly cryptic request for prayer on Facebook and without going into great details,  I will say – I am going to challenge my employer and the insurance company regarding our coverage.  I know it’s big, and maybe nothing will come of it, but I feel so strongly about this and think that the reason that so many employers are afraid to cover anything infertility related is because they don’t actually understand what it actually means!!  If nothing actually changes, I’m right back in the sucky place we started.  But if my standing and shouting as loud and as long as I possibly can actually DOES change something…  Can you just imagine that?

inspire

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11 thoughts on “Can You Just Imagine That?

  1. You go girl! Who knows? Maybe this is another hidden blessing of infertility, and others will benefit! You shout for all of us! Make our voices heard. I’m with you 100% and let me know if you need any written support–letters, petitions, etc. Sorry though about the bleeding.

  2. Poor thing! What a time you have had!!! Ugh…I keep hearing nightmare stories with insurance companies!!!

    I had a bunch of bloodwork post-miscarriage – and I haven’t seen my EOB, although I know it was covered. They did discover an auto-immune blood-thickening issue – so I hope you find something that will help (not that I hope that they find something – but you know what I mean!)

    Good for you for standing up for this issue. It is crazy – so backward. Thinking of you friend – hope you get answers soon. xo

    (I’m curious about the app you are using???)

    • Thanks, Kate! Insurance is RIDICULOUS!!! I wish I didn’t have to deal with it at all but, I’m definitely going to make sure that it’s fair!!

      I’m glad they found something for you! I already know I have an auto-immune disorder – they run STRONGLY in my family!! So, hopefully pinpointing it will help a LOT! I know what you mean about finding something that will help but not finding something! An answer would definitely be nice!! Thank you SOO much!! xoxo

      (The app that I use on my iPhone is Pink Pad! I absolutely LOVE it! It gets a little snarky at times when it notifies me that Aunt Flow is coming or my ‘flowers are blooming’ LOL)

  3. you go girl!! I was lucky and had great insurance when I did IVF but I hear of so many others who do not and I just feel terrible for them. Praying for you girl!!!

  4. Lol @ “Bitchy Barbie”–that is TOO much. I have also had recent troubles with my husband’s insurance not wanting to cover meds I actually NEED in order to keep my UC in remission, and I filed a formal complaint with his company. Glad your cycle is off to a good start! XO

    • It WAS too much! Some women just don’t recognize how LUCKY they are!! I’m glad you filed a formal complaint!!! These insurance companies give the minimum coverage because no one pushes them to give MORE!! I’ll pray that they take care of you! I’m glad it’s off to a good start, too! Thank you SOO much!!

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