Watch What You Say!!

Ok.  So if there’s one thing I’ve learned while dealing with infertility, it’s that people are ignorant.

For the MOSTpart, there are good intentions behind the comments and advice.

HOWEVER, every once in a while I run across people who are not only ignorant, but rude, heartless and simply don’t think.

On Facebook, I follow a few pages that are dedicated to Infertility and Pregnancy Loss.  While I’m pretty vocal about my journey to my friends and family, sometimes it’s nice to have a private place that I can just vent and rage with absolutely ZERO judgment.  I try so hard to steer clear of the drama that can be created and only say something when I can educate and enlighten people who make stupid, judgmental comments.  I don’t like to feed into the stereotype that infertile women are bitter and selfish by wanting something they can’t have rather than appreciating what they do, but this person ABSOLUTELY tipped the scales….

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I could NOT bite my tongue.  In this world, we need more women that are willing to build each other up instead of tearing them down and making them feel bad for something that they have NO control over…  Luckily, I am a part of another group that rallied to my side when I informed them of the comments that were being made.  I almost felt bad for the woman – for a minute.  I appreciated the fact that she apologized, and she seemed to learn her lesson about needing to choose her words – and the place she chooses to express them – more carefully next time.  If you want to read the whole exchange, you can do so here.

I’m so grateful for the friends that I have made on this journey.  A lot of them feel more like sisters than friends and I will love them forever.  I hate that we are all dealing with the same things, but love the relationships that are built instantly.

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5 thoughts on “Watch What You Say!!

  1. I love the concept of adoption and plan on it in the future anyways (and did so before our infertility started) but it’s not always easy…in fact it never is and as far as some people just not being meant to have children… yeah that’s a thing but it’s the ones who have them and don’t take of them.

    • I love adoption as well… It’s amazing to be able to be there for a child that needs you. It’s definitely not easy. I don’t think that anyone is ever MEANT to not have kids. Even the ones that have them and don’t take care of them… Otherwise adoption wouldn’t even be an option. But to call a woman selfish because she is unable to have a biological child yet still wants to is WAY stepping over the line!!

  2. Jenn says:

    Ho-ly SHIT. I would never have been able to control myself, but no clue what I would say. People that jump to the adoption thing don’t F-ing get it. Not even going into the reasons why this is not a replacement for iF, they have no clue it is WAY more expensive than treatments. Most of us could never afford adoption, and that’s only if you’re chosen! IDIOTS

    • Yeah, she was pretty ignorant. Then she went into how she’s had miscarriages so she knows how we feel and she used to work at a fertility clinic and had to quit because the women there were “putting her down” because she was pregnant… I just said that if she truly worked at a fertility clinic that she would have a LOT more compassion for women in our situation and if the women there were in fact putting her down, it was probably for a FAR different reason than her being pregnant! It was hard to be somewhat nice!! She DEFINITELY didn’t get it!! Someone told her that if she wanted to fork over the cash for adoption, they’d be happy to do it! She’ll just never understand because she doesn’t know the longing for a biological child. It was just INSANE to me that she would choose a forum that is FOR woman struggling with infertility to voice that she thinks we are selfish!!!

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