Being A Miracle

For those of you that are friends with me on Facebook or follow me on Instagram, you know that I made a post a bit ago that alluded to an emotional decision.  This is the blog that is going to explain that decision.

I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mommy.  I remember as a little girl subjecting my dolls to diaper changes and baths and feedings.  I have worked with children in so many different capacities and it has always been the one thing that has made my heart feel full.

Infertility has attempted to take that from me.

It has attempted to take the excitement I would feel when I see a pregnant woman.

It has attempted to take the joy I would feel when I would go to see a friend of mine who had gone into labor or had a baby.

It has attempted to take the giddiness I would feel when thinking about a baby-making opportunity with my husband.

Infertility has attempted to replace those feelings with jealousy, anxiety, feelings of failure, sadness.

And most days, infertility has won those battles.  But infertility won’t win the war.

After 32 long months of prayer, heartaches and long conversations with J,  the fact remains that our calling in life is simple.

To be parents.

If there is one lesson I have learned REPEATEDLY, it is that biology is the VERY LEAST of what makes someone a parent.

After our 3rd failed IUI, as I was messaging J through the sobs and tears, he made a comment that I have never forgotten.  “I know how badly you want this, and I do, too.  But maybe there’s a child out there that needs US more than we need this.

And with that on our hearts, we have decided to stop pursuing the avenue of IVF and go full steam ahead down the path of adoption.

I can’t lie and say that there isn’t a small part of me that feels like I am “letting go” of the dream of seeing our biological child look at me through their daddy’s eyes.  It would have been a welcome miracle to get pregnant, but to have the opportunity to be a miracle to a child that otherwise may not have a chance?  Now THAT’S big!

We have changed our IVF fundraiser to an Adoption fundraiser and will hopefully soon be having a homestudy done in order to move one step closer to building our family!

Miraculously My Own

I have SO many emotions and nerves!  I constantly find myself wondering whether I will actually be a good mom…  But I guess it’s one of those things you can’t really study for.  You just jump in the deep end and learn to swim as you go!

I know that this process can take quite a long time, so J and I would GREATLY appreciate all of the prayer and good thoughts you can send our way!

If you’d like to check out our fundraiser (or donate!) you can find it at www.youcaring.com/munchkin-mcnabb

You can also “like” our Facebook page – Munchkin McNabb

Thank you SO much to all of you for your support and love through our journey!!  We are so amazingly grateful!!

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25 thoughts on “Being A Miracle

  1. julieann081 says:

    What a difficult decision to make. I hope that you and your husband feel some sort of peace as you’ve made this decision. I’ll be here cheering for you along the way! ❤

    • It was VERY difficult!! We do feel peace… It doesn’t mean we still don’t HOPE we get pregnant! 😉 But we feel this is the direction we should be heading and we are trusting God 100%!! Your cheering means the world!! ❤️

  2. This is so amazing!!! So incredible! I know that feeling, and I love what your husband said! So true. I think you are brave and courageous! I really think adoption is in our future, too…not sure at what time. We are still going IVF for now, but adoption has always been on my heart, too! Can’t wait to follow your journey, friend! What a beautiful choice! So close to God’s heart!!! xoxo

    • Thank you so much. I’d be lying if I said that I wouldn’t do IVF if we had unlimited funds or insurance that covered it!! But God put us where we are for a REASON and we HAVE to do what we feel He is leading us to!

      Thank you again for your words! And I’m praying for you!

  3. WOW! This is wonderful news! I’m SO happy for you and looking forward to being with you along this journey.
    And are you *kidding* me?! You are so smart and kind and nurturing–you are exactly who I’d want to care for my child if I wasn’t able to. *happy hugs* XOXO

    • I feel like the words “thank you” are so insufficient for all of the love and support I receive from you. I certainly don’t feel inspirational! We are all stronger than we realize sometimes, I think. You are an amazing woman and are a blessing to me!! All of the women I have met through this journey are a blessing to me!! ❤️

  4. Abbey says:

    I enjoyed reading your story. I admire your decision to seek out adoption. I have a very close friend who is one of the most talented and beautiful women I know. She was adopted from an orphanage in China when she was three. And her life is so different and blessed because of it. I know that she is eternally grateful for her family. I came across this article the other day, and thought that it could help. It is the story of a woman with almost the same story as you and her reflections of adoption when her three adopted kids where older. Let me know what you think. http://www.reallifeanswers.org/challenges-in-life/how-do-i-cope-with-infertility/

    • Thank you so much for your words and for reading about our journey! Your friend’s story is beautiful!! I am eternally grateful for every door God opens – and closes – for us every day!! Again, thank you for your words! And for thinking of me!

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