2014 – 1, Me – 0

I know I’m not the only one that is glad that 2014 is OVER.  It was a rough year!

The last couple months were especially rough.  Not just because of the holidays.

We hadn’t told anyone, but we had been approached with a private adoption situation and were OVER THE MOON about it!  It seemed that we were FINALLY going to be parents!  We learned early last month that that possibility was gone.  It was very heartbreaking.  You don’t realize how invested your heart becomes so quickly.

I’ve been fighting off depression pretty badly.  Some days, it seems like I’m winning the battle.  Other days, it seems that the light at the end of the tunnel is barely flickering.  My husband has been so patient and loving with me.  I’m not entirely sure how he puts up with me sometimes.  Of course, I put up with him, too so I guess we’re even!  Well, that and he’s working a second job so I think that helps, too!

With J working a second job, I spend quite a bit of time alone.  It’s not always so bad, but I do get pretty lonely.  He’s been saying that I need to find something to do when he’s not here and because a lot of my depression (I think) comes from hating my body so much, I have decided that going to the gym is the perfect answer!  I find a hobby AND I can get in shape while doing it!  Talk about a WIN-WIN!!  (And NO, it’s NOT a New Years resolution!!)

I blame a lot of the extra weight I’m carrying on the fertility meds that I took for our IUI’s, but having a somewhat sedentary job and not doing much physical activity when I’m at home certainly hasn’t helped that!

I’m a little afraid to share with the world that I need to lose weight, but let’s face it, anyone that looks at me knows that’s no secret!  And the reason that I’m telling the world – well, the part of the world that reads this and actually cares – is because part of the battle is admitting weakness.  And the other part is accountability.

I am making a valiant effort to kick 2015’s butt and not the other way around!!

Also, if you follow me on Instagram or we are friends on Facebook, I have been participating in a really neat 60-day challenge that has been designed to let people in on our lives and get to know us better.  Here is the list of pictures that I will be sharing!

hopingtoadopt60days

This is in the hopes that through word-of-mouth we may be able to find the perfect match to help complete our family!  If you’re interested in following, you can “like” our Facebook page “Bringing Home Munchkin McNabb” or follow me on Instagram – @neeners079!!  It’s been a lot of fun so far!

Hope to see you there!

Advertisements

We Meet Again

January

Well, January.  We meet again.  You’ve been lurking like a mischievous child.  You’ve always been my favorite month – you’re the month that everyone gets to celebrate the fact that I was born!  The last 2 January’s, however, have NOT been good.  January 2012 – my mother got sick and was diagnosed with cancer soon after.  January 2013 – my mother in law was diagnosed with breast cancer.  So, maybe you can kinda understand where my apprehension to see you comes from.  Now this year, I’ve started out with pneumonia.  I’m just gonna assume that this is just getting the major illnesses out of the way for the year!  I WILL NOT spend as much time at Dr’s offices this year as I did last!  Mark. My. Words.

no_doctor

2013 wasn’t exactly kind to me.  I learned a lot, though.  About me.  About my husband.  About friends.  About family.  I’ve learned that I can feel more than I thought.  I’ve learned that I can bend farther than I realized.  I’ve learned that I can fight harder than I’d expected.  I’ve learned that I can live through pain that seems unbearable.  I’ve learned that my husband can support the weight of my leaning on him.  I’ve learned that some of the friends I thought would be there, haven’t.  I’ve learned that some of the family that I thought would be there, aren’t.  And I don’t regret a single thing.  I might change the outcome – but the lessons are valuable.

2014 paris

This is the time of year that everyone starts their “New Years Resolutions”.  I’ve never been one for resolutions.  Let’s be honest – how many of us stick with the resolutions that we make every year (for longer than a month)?  I’ll be the first to say “Not me!”  They’d probably be better served being called “New Years Intentions”!  I have a few of those!  But I’ll just share a couple.

in 2014, it is my intention to:

  • Give myself more grace in tough situations.
  • Focus more on the blessings I have than the ones I want.

This year IS going to be a good year.  Because I say so.  Our arms may be empty, but our hearts are full.

“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?” – Isaiah 43:19