I KNOW! It’s been FOREVER since I’ve posted a blog! I hope you all don’t hate me!!
There has been SO much going on! I can’t share it all just yet, but it’s REALLY exciting!
(**Disclaimer** I know every time an infertile uses the words “It’s REALLY exciting” people’s minds wander, so let me put that question to rest now – I’m NOT pregnant!)
Fair Warning: This blog might make you uncomfortable, and that’s kinda the point. It might seem like a total rant, and that’s okay. My goal is to challenge you – to make you think twice or even three times before making some decisions or statements.
I’ve said it before – this journey is hard!
It’s difficult to try SO hard for something, to want something SO badly, to pray for something SO fervently, to fight for something SO passionately … and not get it.
And when you find a way that you MIGHT get the chance to realize that dream but have no way of affording it, it’s even harder to swallow our pride and ask for help.
I’ve had people be so much more incredibly supportive than I ever could have imagined.
I’ve also had people tell me that if I can’t afford to do IVF or adoption, I shouldn’t be a parent at all.
I’ve had people tell me that because I can’t get pregnant, it’s God’s way of telling me that I shouldn’t be a parent at all.
I’ve had people tell me that asking others for money to be a parent is a selfish thing to do and if I’m selfish maybe I shouldn’t be a parent at all.
If it’s in an email or a message, I simply ignore it. If it’s said to my face, I simply smile and nod. (I may or may not say something equally inappropriate sometimes just to embarrass people and make them realize they are out of line making certain statements.)
I know I’ve shared a friend’s blog before that was SO important to me. She talked about how doing something – even something small – can go such a long way.
We have people telling us all the time how much they support us. And how they pray for us. And how they hope we raise a lot of money. We appreciate it ALL!
There are people who will pray with me in person and there are those that share our story or YouCaring link every single time I post it. And that’s amazing!!
But I often wonder… When people say they pray for us, do they pray for us by name? Do they say they’re going to pray and then forget? ( I’m guilty of that and even wrote about how I get caught in the “I’ll pray for you” web here )
Almost every day, I see some of the same people – friends and family – who tell us they support us sharing link after link of crowdfunding accounts for people they may or may not know. But I’ve yet to see our link shared.
I’m not saying that our story matters more. Or that anybody else’s story matters less. Everyone deserves the opportunity to receive the help that they’ve asked for!
I don’t mind that these people share those links one bit! In fact, on most of them, I think it’s a great way to raise awareness, and I pray that they receive their miracle – whatever it may be!
What I DO mind is feeling that our story just isn’t important enough to share. Or that declarations of support are simply lip service or “saying the right thing”.
Listen – I’m NOT saying that we expect you to donate a million dollars, a hundred dollars or even ten dollars, we understand that times are tough. I’m NOT saying that we expect every person to drop everything to pray with us right that second. I’m NOT saying that we expect people to go out of their way or over the top to show their support.
What I AM saying is,
Actions Speak Louder Than Words
If you tell someone you support them, show it. Send a card. Offer to help where it’s needed. Take them out for coffee. Let them cry without offering advice. Share a link. Like their post. Participate in their trials & joy!
Maybe there’s someone in your list of friends that is suffering with something silently, and seeing you share something that lets them know they’re not alone is just what they need.
When you tell someone you’re going to pray for them, say a little prayer silently in that moment.
It’s a hard thing to do, I know. But it only takes doing something 28 times before it becomes a habit! And having the opportunity to bless 28 people? Wow.
If I made you uncomfortable, good. If I made you think, good. If I made you say to yourself ” I will say a prayer for someone right then when I tell them I will”, good!
I’m not just preaching here, I am working every day at doing what I say!
Will you practice doing what we say?!